Moody Blues

I've found since having our son that my mood goes as his mood goes; if he is happy, I am happy, and if he is unhappy, I am similarly unhappy. Yes, it's a roller coaster for the emotions, and it often sours my day or night if my son's mood sours. I guess when he is upset I feel like I'm letting him down, by either depriving him of sleep or food, for example. I would like him to not want for anything, and my wife and I anticipate his needs before he melts down. Obviously this is an impossibility, but it's something that bothers me.

I worry if we don't let him nap long enough or if he misses a nap, or has to go to bed later than usual. He's been doing really well lately with sleeping through the night and I guess I don't want to do anything to disrupt that. So while I didn't think I'd become the parent who lets his kid's schedule rule my life, I have become that indeed. Want us to meet you at noon? No, thank you, but we can meet earlier/later. Inviting us over for dinner? Sure, if we can get the early bird special and get home by 6:30PM.

Apparently my bad mood coinciding with his doesn't help matters. My ranting while he screams supposedly causes ire. Although I complain (loudly) because I am concerned we are doing our son wrong, I've heard there's a better way of handling these situations. It's surely better to react positively or, at worst, be in control of one's emotions. Yes, I understand this. My hope is that I figure out how to do just that sooner rather than later. Also, I'm quite looking forward to the day when my son has enough vocabulary to let us know in words what is bothering him. Until then, I'll be writing resolutions and counting to 10 in my head next time Mount J erupts.

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Elf on the Shelf

Last year we were turned on to this great Christmas tradition called "Elf on the Shelf." It's a story book and an Elf figure that you place in a different location around the house each day before Christmas (presumably not all year long, just like after Thanksgiving, I guess). The story of the Elf is that he (or she, since you can buy a skirt for your elf) comes from the North Pole, directed by Santa Claus to watch all the little boys and girls while Santa is hard at work making toys. Each night the Elf returns north to report to Santa how the kids are behaving, then returns to your home in a different spot for the next day.

The purpose of this, besides a sweet new Christmas tradition for the family, is to try and keep kids behaving during a stressful time of year. The children are also instructed not to touch the Elf or his "magic" will wear off and he won't be able to tell Santa how good the child has been, possibly negating Santa's visit on the 25th. To make the Elf more personable, the Elf should be named and you can even register the elf's name on the Elf on the Shelf web site.

The web site, by the way, is great, especially if you have Flash software on your computer (Who doesn't nowadays? You? Oh, then download here), and looks like those old-time Christmas shows created with stop animation, like the one about Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer or Frosty the Snowman. There's a lot to enjoy on the site for kids and parents alike.

Our son can't yet comprehend the reason for the Elf in our house but he picked up on the Elf itself rather quickly. For about a week now we've been moving him around the house and asking him "Where's the Elf?" Our son immediately starts looking around the room for the Elf, glancing in the spots he remembers seeing the Elf previously. It's amazing how fast he picked up on it and that he looks in those previous spots for his new friend. We tell him not to touch the elf, and I make sure to set the Elf out of grabbing height. Our son does, however, "wave" to the Elf, though since he's still learning to wave properly, I can't tell if he's really waving or reaching out to grab the thing.

We sent it to our friends Carrie and Steve for their son last year, and he immediately named the Elf "Elfie" and loved searching the house for it before school. This year we sent Elf on the Shelf to our god son Dominik. His mom thinks the Elf will help her keep little D on the "nice" list more than just the threat of Santa not coming because he's been "naughty." I'm sure we will be sending this gift to other families as time goes on, too. This sort of tradition is something that feels a less fabricated, I guess because I never knew about it before last year, and thus didn't think it was overhyped or mass-marketed. Obviously the day will come when the Elf will become passé as our children get older, but I like that this is something that can be kept within the family and passed on to the next generation.

Note: I am NOT getting paid to advertise/endorse this product. But, hey, if the makers want to toss me a couple bucks my address is...

Thankful

This may come a week or so late, but in this time of giving, and giving thanks, I wanted to list some things I am thankful for this holiday season.

1. Being surrounded by family and friends who genuinely love our now 10-month-old son. As great as it has been to watch our son develop every day, it's been equally amazing at how much our family and friends have taken to him. Through holidays, family events, and now "play dates," so many of you have allowed our son into your lives, and for that I am thankful.
2. Having a wife who allows me to be me, even when parts of me act out in a manner unbecoming of my best self. I get easily frustrated when things don't go "accordingly" with our son, like him not sleeping through the night or seeming to be sick every other day of his short life. Somehow my wife has stuck by me, understanding my venting process (for better or worse -- mostly worse), and helping me realize not everything will go perfectly. I've learned a lot about myself during this process of being a father, and I admit I don't like all of it. I'm trying to use what I learn as motivation to change certain behaviors, and I think my wife realizes this process is sometimes a slow one...
3. Living in a country where I can speak my mind, at least virtually. Much to the chagrin of many of my "friends" I often use Facebook as a soapbox to air many grievances, mostly regarding religion and/or our government/politicians. I doubt I can change anyone's mind but at least I try to point out the other side of issues, or show that you can't always believe what you see at first glance. I don't like seeming like a snob, but I do feel people act in knee-jerk reactions, so pointing out what may not be obvious to someone at least makes me feel like I'm giving them the whole picture on an issue.
4. Traditions. I have been called a Scrooge in the past during this time of year, believe it or not. I do, however, enjoy Christmas, just maybe not the way it is "celebrated" nowadays. I am a purist when it comes to Christmas decorations, songs, and any meaning to be gleaned from it all. I love classical imagery, original versions of classic Christmastime music, and the stories that framed how the holiday came about (there's no mention of "Christmas" in the Bible, of course). I don't enjoy the crass over-marketing of the holiday by retail shops, the hijacking of right-wing religious fundamentalists who argue that atheists or the ACLU are trying to "take Christ out of Christmas," or ridiculous versions of holiday music (yes, I'm talking about your reggae Christmas CD).
5. Giving back. As many of you know, for the month of November I (and men all over the world) grew a moustache to help raise awareness and funds for prostate and testicular cancer. It was an organization called "Movember" and it was a pretty fun time. I had never really gotten involved in something like this, and I was really pleased to have stuck with it the entire month. It's nice to have my face back, but with the donations of so many friends and family members, it made it all worth it. I was able to raise over $1,000 for the cause, which was well more than I had ever imagined.

I'm sure there are more items to be added, but I don't want to get too sappy or too self-righteous, anymore than I already have. I look forward to celebrating the upcoming holidays with our son, creating new memories and holiday traditions of our own. It will be unlike anything else in my life, seeing the holidays through the eyes of my own child.

Finally

I am going to try and not over-hype this, but for the first time in our son's seven months (as of the 1st) of life, he FINALLY slept through the night! Recently he has only woken up once a night, around 1AM, taken a feeding, then slept until either he woke up at his usual time or we actually had to go in and wake him. But last night he went down around 7:15PM and nary a peep was heard until 6AM-ish, when my wife went in to soothe him and he went back to sleep for at least another 45 minutes. Again, I don't want to jinx it, but it is a pretty exciting development.

Speaking of developments, the boy has gone through a few of note. He cut his two bottom front teeth at the same time. He is eating his first solids (mush), and seems to like veggies more than fruit, so far. To my dismay, for reasons I won't recount now, my wife gives him little pieces of graham cracker or other crackers and kid "puffs" for him to munch on. He is drinking water from a cup, though not yet holding the cup or his bottle. His hair is finally coming in, for the most part, and so far it is blonde. His eyes are still somewhat blue, but sometimes look green, and we can't tell if they will stay that way or not. He can sit up really well now, and stays up, for the most part, without a lot of supervision. And while our son can get up on his hands and knees he still is not crawling. We're not too dismayed about that; maybe he'll be one of those kids who goes right to walking and skips crawl altogether. I'm not sure which is worse...

We seem to like his daycare, though we still scratch our heads about what actually goes on there. The new daycare he's in is a big step up from the original one, but I guess they all have their quirks. At least the energy level is much higher at the new one. And the staff/owners are pretty receptive to our needs, which isn't bad.

So we're having a grand time with the boy these days. We have a schedule and routine down for him. He looks at the correct person when we say "where's mommy" or "where's daddy" (the first time he looked at me after getting that question was a huge highlight for me). He loves to play with us and really enjoys laughing at the silly stuff we do to/with him. I guess this is what people mean by the "reward" of having a child. It's nice to finally reap! At least until the next monkey wrench gets thrown our way...

To NJ and Back

On June 29th we left for a week-long adventure in New Jersey to visit with my family and introduce them properly to our son for the first time. We were mainly excited to have our son meet my dad, who is going to be 87 in September, since J is the first grandchild in our family since 1971 (my sister's son, who is only 14 months younger than me...). The trip went really well, with only a few downs compared to the many ups we shared.

The plane ride out went well. We opted for daytime flights instead of our typical red-eye flights to help give us extra time out there. We didn't want to risk keeping the plane cabin awake with a potentially screaming child while people are trying to sleep, so the non-stop day flight was a good move for everyone. There was really only one meltdown, but a good rocking and bottle quelled it before the Air Marshals had to step in! The flight back home was even easier, minus a plane problem that made the airline switch terminals and the size of the plane. We almost got bumped (again) but my wife deftly played the "baby card" which may have helped us get a seat on the new plane. We thought we were safe until they realized a baby would be in an exit row (not allowed) and that he was check in as an infant without a seat though we paid the money to get his own seat so we wouldn't have to hold him for 5.5 hours. It all worked out in the end and J slept through a lot of the flight.

His demeanor while in NJ was up and down, with a melt down here and there to keep up in check. One happened in the car on the second night, and some later-night road work caused a traffic jam that only made his screaming bout longer and more frustrating. The kid just doesn't know how to cry, only yell! He was really overtired, apparently, so much so that he slept for EIGHT HOURS STRAIGHT that night, from 10PM to 6AM, the longest such stretch to date. We actually thought he might have died, honestly and morbidly as it sounds, because he was in the same position the whole night. My wife touched him to see if he was okay and he felt really cold so she got paranoid. I went to check him and felt his head, which was warm, thankfully, then moved his hand and he stretched his fingers out. We let out a sigh of relief...

My father and my siblings really enjoyed spending time with our son, and that was the whole point of the trip. Everyone got to hold him and J seemed to take well to all of them. He like grabbing my dad's ear and nose, and also gave him many slobbery kisses that my dad promptly wiped off with nearby tissues. It was really great to see our family all together for such an occasion.

Straight Leg

We've moved into our new place, just emptying boxes now. It will take a couple weeks to be able to re-learn everything, like where the plates or glasses are now. But we have more room, and hopefully we won't feel the urgent need to FILL those spaces too quickly.

Our son seems to have gone through the transition pretty smoothly. He's finally over his cold and latest ear infection, and it has brought out more of his personality (just as I had hoped). He loves laughing at funny noises and has started to mimic our silly mouth sounds, like the "raspberry." It makes him spit and drool everywhere, but it's a riot to see/hear.

Also, lately he has even started sleeping better, maybe from finally being over all that sickness. Instead of waking up four or more times after putting him down around 7PM, last night he only woke three times. Doesn't sound like a big deal, but it's far better than him waking every hour after midnight like he has done in the past. He's beginning to eat more, which also could be attributed to him sleeping better. Where we used to give him four ounces at a time, we now start with at least five ounces in the bottle. He might not finish the entire bottle every time but at the end of the day he's still taking in more altogether.

Saturday night, however, our son started really screaming in pain when he was put down on his back, and he stopped kicking or grabbing his left leg/foot. We were at a loss trying to figure out what could be the cause. We had a babysitter over that day, a young girl that was recommended to us, and he was fussy most of the day with her, too, but not screaming in agony at any time. He did fall asleep that night but woke up often and uncomfortable. We were sure his leg could be fractured or his something happened to his hip. He could move the leg and his foot, so I didn't think that was the issue. But I felt his quad muscle, however, and it was really tight/hard compared to the other leg's muscle.

The next day he still wouldn't bend the leg even though he wasn't crying when laid down. My wife decided to take him to Urgent Care at a local hospital and find out what was the matter. The helpful pediatrician there felt the problem could be a fractured femur or a sterile abscess. Earlier in the week he had gotten four shots of vaccinations (two in each leg) at his four-month doctor visit, one of which may have caused the abscess. At that time my wife decided against X-rays because of the risk of radiation to our son's testes, so no more definitive answers could be given.

On Monday my wife took the boy to our regular pediatrician and he recommended the X-ray to be sure what was going on. My wife did allow it, as the doctor said X-rays aren't as harsh as they used to be and his "daddy sac" would be covered (see photo). The doctor analyzed the pictures and deduced it was not a fracture, thankfully, nor any other bone separation. It was figured that one of the shots given had nicked a blood vessel causing some internal bleeding that feels like a deep tissue bruise. He should hopefully be over it in a few days...

A couple days later and he still won't bend his left leg at the knee, keeping it stiff when we try to bend it for him. He doesn't seem to mind weight on the leg, like when we hold him standing up, but he still won't kick the it like he usually enjoys. Some ice and perhaps massage should help out. In any case, he isn't too upset about it anymore, and has been a pleasure lately, making us laugh and smile even more than we do to him. Hopefully soon we will get a few days with him being "normal" (no illness or injury), if that even exists.

More of the Same

The past several weeks have been a test in same-ness, at least when it comes to the well-being of our son (and us). Last week he was diagnosed with his THIRD ear infection, riding fast on the heels of a very snotty cold (which he lent to me for a week). He has received antibiotic shots and grape-flavored medicine to relieve the ear infections, but it just keeps recurring. He has had some sort of sickness for the past six weeks, though the past couple of days have shown some improvement. We go in today for his four-month check up with the pediatrician, and I'm hoping he has some decent news on the state of our kid's health.

Besides the stop/start sleeping, the unwillingness to eat and some crabbiness, our son has a pretty good demeanor and has shown he is putting up either a good front or he's giving it the good fight. Most times during the day he is quick to smile and the past few days has gotten his laugh back (he had sore throats that seemed to have made him clam up -- and not eat). He loves silly sounds and laughs easily to them. He's also gotten really good at reaching for things, including his feet which he can limberly put into his mouth (drives me nuts...). Drooling is non-stop now, as well as sucking on his fingers/hands, as well as the aforementioned feet.

What I'm trying to say is, "I wonder what his personality would really be like if he wasn't sick for so long." Would he sleep better? Would he be even more developed than he already appears to be? There have been times during the past one-plus months that were very frustrating because I knew the situation probably would be different had he not been ill. I am really looking forward to enjoy the "real" him when finally/hopefully gets over these ailments.

As much as I'd like to see it differently, we are blaming his entry into daycare for the sicknesses. Almost immediately after starting the daycare, even part-time, did he start feeling the effects of being around about a dozen kids. We've witnessed more than a few runny noses in the place, which obviously leads to being contagious. This could have happened anywhere, but we (as new parents) are a bit paranoid that the day care might not be as hygenic as it could/should be. We even have taken steps to get on a waiting list or two at other facilities, mainly because they appear cleaner (among other things).

To add to our "misery" we are also moving out of our apartment into a duplex, which will afford us more space and other perks (in-home washer/dryer, garage, lots more storage). Plus, at the end of the month we travel back East to visit my family. We have been thinking of doing some "Ferber-izing" with our son to get him to sleep longer, but the move and travel may put that goal off a few weeks.

Suffice it to say, it has been a long few weeks. The wife started work full-time last week, too, and likes to get home early to be with the boy. That is nice but because of that she often has to do some work after he goes to bed. Apparently this is life... I'm not complaining, seriously, but I am still waiting for all those "rewards" I heard that come with having a child. I admit I am easily won over by my son's smile, even when he breaks it out while in his crib when he should be sleeping. Again, I am very excited to meet my real son when he gets over his illnesses and finally reap those rewards!