A Couple of Firsts

This week marked a few milestones in our 14-week-old son. This past Saturday he spent the night with his aunt, uncle and cousins as his parents took a short road trip north to get away for some "alone time." Admittedly we spent most of our time talking about the boy and/or getting updates about his status. Not sure which of the three of us fared the best: we missed him, couldn't get any spa treatments and drank too much wine, while he had a big poop and slept pretty well for being away from us for so long. At the end of it he seemed pretty upset and wanted mommy, and she/we really wanted to see him. We spent our first Mother's Day together and vowed not to do that to him again (until the next time, of course).

He got back into our care with another first: his first cold. He could have gotten it anywhere, be it the day care, from either of his parents or at his family's. In any case he got it and is still getting over it. My wife is doing a lot of siphoning to get out the nastiness from his nose, much to the boy's chagrin. He has a cough and sneezes often, but apparently does not have strep throat or anything worse than his first common cold. Surprisingly the day care will take him with a cold (but not high fever), though we did keep him out yesterday.

Keeping him home on a day care day led to another first: Daddy's first real alone time with the boy. For an hour and a half the other weekend I watched him and for an hour of it (or so it seemed) he screamed and cried as loud as he could. He was probably overtired, but I could not soothe him until I started carrying him around in the football hold. He actually fell asleep on my arm, finally, and I was able to put him down until mommy came home to save the day. With this experience in mind I dreaded being alone with him, and this time it would be for at least 4-5 hours.

Not to toot my own horn but I think I did everything right, and the boy responded really well! I fed him ahead of him getting really upset and hungry and put him down for naps when I saw the sleepy cues. He played in his new (used) Exersaucer, had some good tummy time, and we even went out for a walk together. He only cried a little but I managed to figure out he was still hungry and not yet ready to sleep. Even his bit of fussiness before his first nap was easily quelled by some rocking and singing in his ear. It was like night and day, my tow alone experiences. I had nothing but good things to report when mommy got home. Sadly all this didn't help him sleep last night -- he was up at least four times after we put him to bed. It could be the sickness, but the night prior wasn't as bad.

Other recent milestones include the boy being able to reach out for things and grab them, like his toys and his mommy's dinner plate. His cooing vocabulary is getting more extensive and his "talking" bouts more lengthy. He can grab his feet with both hands, and I think this morning he was grabbing his right foot with his left hand. And he's also getting stronger lifting his head during tummy time. I know, not surprising to veteran parents, but this is all new/exciting to me!

First Trip Down (Up)

This past weekend we took our first airplane trip with the boy. It was to introduce him to our friends in Portland and celebrate their son's (our god son) 2nd birthday. At just under three months old, I was pretty nervous at how our son would react to all the stimuli of flying. As it turns out, I was the only one with frayed nerves.

Packing for a weekend trip was usually a chore in figuring out what to wear, how many shoes to bring and hoping the suitcase was under 50 pounds (it has not been a couple times). But adding another human into the fold posed logistical situations previously un-dealt with. We had to really pare down what we might normally bring and create room in bags for diapers, breast pump and pacifiers. That meant only bringing what was needed, not what might be needed, like exercise gear, or a separate pair of shoes for each outfit (we are both guilty of that). We used a big suitcase for our stuff, but left room for some of his stuff and the pump. We also brought a carry-on bag for more of the baby's needs, and the airline lets you bring on a diaper bag in addition to the carry-on when traveling with a child (very helpful). Magically, it all fit and we didn't forget anything!

We left on Saturday morning, which helped reduce traffic. This also allowed us to have the entire three-seat row to ourselves, so we could bring on the car seat instead of holding the boy the whole 1.5-hour trip (same coming back, too!). We brought the Snap & Go for a stroller and I wanted to bring the car seat base instead of using the seat alone in the rental car, and that was a wise decision (in my opinion). Going through security was interesting since we had to take the boy out of the seat, break down the stroller, then put it and the car seat through the X-ray, along with our shoes, of course (groan). Going out it was a smooth-ish process because the terminal was fairly quiet; coming back at PDX was a bit more worrisome for me since we had people breathing down our necks behind us, but everyone stayed human and didn't complain. The formula had to be set aside and checked, which the wife thought was pretty cool, as the TSA guy tested the vapors from the formula to make sure it was legit. Oddly/scarily enough, this check did not happen at the Portland airport...

I really like that we can board the plane earlier because we're traveling with a child. I don't necessarily enjoy sitting around on a plane longer, but it's nice to have a couple extra minutes to get situated (not to mention some actual overhead space). I guess there is a flip-flopping rule about the placement of the car seat in the row because we originally put it in between us so we both could hang out with the boy, in plain sight of a flight attendant. A different attendant came and told us he had to be by the window because my wife wouldn't be able to get out of the row in case of emergency. It made sense to us, but it would have been nice not to have to go through the (admittedly not difficult) strap-in process again.

We knew to either feed him or use a pacifier to help ear popping, but our son got hungry before take-off and ate most of his formula before we even got to the runway. The by-product of this was him falling asleep and that made it all the more easier. He didn't wake up during the ascent and wasn't bothered when he did wake during flight. He was in/out of sleep again for the long descent or did a lot of yawning on his own, again with not complaints. (I forgot to mention that we were a bit worried about all this because earlier in the week he was diagnosed (early) with his first ear infection.) On the way home he fed on the ascent and sucked on his pacifier on the way down, with success both ways. He was a little fussy on the way home due to the flight being near his bedtime, but overall it would have been difficult to know that he was the youngest person on the plane (and the only baby on the plane for the ride home).

In June/July we have a bigger test for him since we will be flying coast to coast. To insure comfort we had to buy a seat for him, but that should let us have our own row again, depending on the plane. I can only hope the staff of this airline will be as helpful and accommodating as the one we used to go North. After seeing their fee schedule and the red tape we had to cut through to use our "free" vouchers earned from being unceremoniously bumped (again) from a flight last year, I am not so confident. But if this short trip was any indication of our son's capacity for travel, he will be the least of my worries!

Same Old, Same Old

I've been shying away from writing posts recently because I feel they will be redundant in nature. Also, I don't want to seem like I'm complaining. But the issues we've been going through the past two months with our little guy are only getting incrementally better. He's growing, he's really cute and sweet, but he still isn't maturing in some ways where I thought he might be given that he is closing in on three months old.

The good stuff first. Last week he was weighed in at 13 pounds, 8 ounces, which I correctly guessed prior to the doctor visit. I did change that original guess to six ounces after a little thought, because I couldn't imagine him growing at the rate he had been the prior two months. His weight is pretty average for his age, which was 10 weeks on Easter Sunday. His height, however, which I can't remember right now, is still in the 90th percentile, meaning he has the height of a 3.5-month-old child. So our boy is long and lean -- lucky him. Don't worry, he still has the requisite rolls and folds all babies get as they fatten up.

Also, we're getting some great smiles and a lot of cooing from him. His vocabulary of sounds seems to be growing by the day, with some high-pitched squeals thrown in here and there. It's really fun getting him to match our tones and smile when we beam at him. It is the reward of having a child, or so it is said.

On to the not so good... Our son is either normal in this regard, or we don't know what we're doing, but we still cannot get him to sleep for long(er) stretches at night. We have a routine of bathing him and/or reading to him prior to putting him down in his crib, and this is usually around 8PM. Often he will sleep to past 11 o'clock and sometimes until midnight, but then he is crying and seems hungry. He will get a feeding then goes back to sleep fairly easily, only to wake most of the time within an hour. Last week he would sleep for a couple hours at a time after that midnight feeding, then wake for good around 6AM. This felt normal and manageable. Recently, however, he'd sleep for the 3-4 hours initial stretch, but now he would wake every hour after that. This seems like a major step backwards...

He gets naps during the daytime, but I don't think they are for more than an hour at a time. Yesterday he did get a 1.5 hour nap before I got home from work, but mostly his naps are more like catnaps here and there. Because I don't see him during the weekdays, I could be mischaracterizing this. I don't even want to mention the major screaming attacks he has when he fights going to sleep! Since we're often on the go on the weekends he catches some z's in the car seat during our various errands. So I feel he's either not sleeping enough during the day, which messes up his night sleep, or he is overstimulated from a lot of activity during his waking hours. My wife thinks his room is too cold, though we do keep him swaddled with a blanket partially covering him and wearing a hat. So who knows?

We are attending a sleep class/seminar this Saturday so hopefully some light can be shed on what might be happening. Is his behavior normal? Are we trying to do too much with him, thus overstimulating him? It's very frustrating, though I probably have set my expectations too high. You tell me, please!

It is Ni-Ni time, please

It's been a rough week or so, and perhaps rougher (more rough?) the past couple of days. By rough I mean it could be a lot worse, but for us being new parents, the experience of trying to get our son to get quality sleep for long(er) stretches, and at the appropriate times, has been, well, "rough."

The past couple of days/nights we've been trying to ween him out of his cradle and into the crib. Gone is the busy mobile and stuffed animals sharing space in the crib. The bumper is still there but we've discussed doing something with it, as well. All in the name of keeping our son concentrated on falling asleep and not interested in his surroundings. So far, it hasn't yet worked according to plan. We're not sure if he's happy sleeping on his back, though he did okay in the cradle. He sleeps well, however, in his swing and car seat, where he's on an angle. He also sleeps fairly well on his side, but we don't have anything to prop him up, if we even decided to do such a thing. Let's just say it's been a battle, okay?

We're trying to keep a schedule, or at least a routine, but our method has flexibility. He sleeps, feeds when he wakes, has some play time while awake, then goes to sleep again. Every other night we give him a bath to calm him, give him a massage with lotion, then read to him in hushed voices with the lights down before putting him down for sleepy time. At least that's the plan. Either because of gas, colic, or not liking being on his back, the past couple nights he has been really wailing shortly after he goes down. He lulls us into a false sense of security by being "asleep" in our arms only to scream shortly after laying him down.

The other part of the plan is letting him cry a little before rushing into comfort him, trying to get him to self soothe. We've only just started doing this, so we did try to assure him we were always there when he needed us. Now that he's almost two months old (already!) we'd like him to learn to calm himself down when he wakes during sleep. This process definitely isn't easy since our son isn't much of a cryer, but more of a wailer or screamer. His "cry" makes him sound like he's in pain but of course as soon as he's picked up he stops, so we know he's okay (since he doesn't show any signs of being sick or hurt).

The process will also take some time for him to learn, also, and is hasn't been easy for me. I don't know if it's the pitch, the volume or what, but something about his crying really works me over, almost to the point of wincing when I hear it. Last night I was slightly better about it than the night before, so hopefully I will get used to it and/or our son will learn better to relax and soothe himself. I'm also afraid our neighbors in the apartment next door will call the police thinking we're hurting our child (the wall of the nursey is adjacent to their living room, and vice versa). From what I can tell, our neighbors also use this cry-out method, since at 8:10pm every night their youngest daughter, who is perhaps almost two, cries herself to sleep. I don't consider it payback, per se, but our son's crying should be abated by some determination and effort on our part, while their daughter may continue crying at night indefinitely.

We know that a well-rested baby is a happy baby, so we will keep on truckin' with getting the boy to sleep through the night. I read too many books pre-birth to let our son get over on us and think he's boss (he is). The colic thing sort of throw's a monkey wrench into our routine or methods, but keeping his stimulation in check and well-fed and rested should help us stay on track. Last night, for instance, he slept for 3.5 hours straight (after a bit of struggle), then got a feeding, then slept another couple of hours. All this was while on his back, in his crib. There's surely room for improvment, but it's a first step!

From 7 to 11

Our little man Jack went to his pediatrician yesterday and weighed in a 11 pounds, one ounce, which we came to find out is actually normal for a baby at five weeks. We didn't know until yesterday that his head size was on the small size at the last appointment but has since gained size to become average also. His length, however, at over 23 inches, is above average for his age, which I consider to be pretty cool, for some reason. When is it good to start a kid in sports? (Kidding -- anytime is a good time, LOL)

He still has colic, though it is apparently on the "mild" side, since he doesn't cry for hours on end. There are a couple points during each day, mostly in the evenings, where he does have trouble passing gas and stool. When it (gas) does eventually come out, it's sort of comical but mostly just smelly. The pediatrician made a joke that smelly gas is hereditary, and since I wasn't at the appointment I'm sure he was referring to me, har har. Jack's crying isn't funny, true, but the outcome of all his red faces and squirming can be a little funny, especially when his farts last a few seconds at a time.

But enough about poopy and boom booms... We're trying to get the boy to sleep better during the night, creating some sort of battle plan with strategies and protocols, etc. We've instituted a bath ritual every two days but I don't think Jack realizes it's part of our attack to get him to begin the sleep process. We read to him and feed him afterwards, though for now he's more interested in the bottle than what's on the page. We don't expect him to sleep all night long yet, but we'd like him to get used to being in a bed, on his back, and maybe even self-soothe himself more. He's not a big fan of his lovely crib yet, so we still put him in the bassinet. Personally, I think because it's still cold he doesn't like all the open-ness of a crib, but rather the closeness of his cradle. Hopefully when it's warmer he will dig the crib. My wife thinks there's "too much going on" in his crib with the bumpers, mobile, and stuffed animal friends on the edge for him to ignore and fall asleep. I'm not in total agreement, but until he sleeps well in the crib, I don't have many other explanations.

It's definitely been interesting having a fussy baby. I mean, the more exposure and knowledge I get about his condition(s), the more I'm comfortable around him, even when he's screaming. Sometimes in the car he has serious bouts of crying and yelling at the top of his little lungs, but he cannot be consoled. I've only been witness to that behavior once (unfortunately not close to home), while the wife has been hit by it a few times now. The doctor told us there's nothing we can do but let him cry it out, that it might be the position he's in that puts uncomfortable pressure on his tummy. But it's completely nerve-wracking and heartbreaking, and I/we feel pretty helpless.

We can only be happy in the fact that this will be something he should outgrow soon, as his internal mechanisms mature and he learns how to deal with it himself, too. And as he grows so will we, finding new ways to soothe and comfort him. And before we know it we're getting a whopping four straight hours of sleep a night, ha ha!

Gas is on the Rise

Things with the new boy are progressing fairly normally. In three and a half weeks he has gained over 2 pounds and weighed in yesterday at over 10 pounds. He doesn't look fattened, but his cheeks are very squishy and his mom say his fingers have gotten fatter. He still has the skinny baby legs and arms, so I guess most of the weight must be in his head.

He already can move his head around and hold it up pretty well. He still smacks his face into my shoulder when I hold him, which of course causes his to cry. This morning mommy noticed how baby Jack has started trying to roll over, and he can at least get onto his side a bit. She had him in his bassinet so she could shower and noticed it was lopsided when she got out (it rocks and wasn't locked in a prone position). Jack rolled a little to one side, since he can, and made it tilt.

He sleeps pretty well during the day and seems to always be hungry. When he wakes he doesn't really cry to announce his hunger; it's more of a yell. A lot of times I think his hunger determines his mood: If he's not satisfied he will scream through diaper changes, baths, or other attention. When his belly is full he's a real treat to be around, especially when he's still awake and wide-eyed. Problem for me is, he takes SO long to eat and it seems to take so much for him to get satiated. I feel like he's overfeeding and we're on our way to having a very large (obese) boy. On top of that, I have a paranoia that giving him formula is like making him drink soda, though I know it's silly (kind of).

In the evenings, however, especially after like 9PM, Jack starts to get fussy to the point that feeding and changing him doesn't calm him down like it does earlier in the day. Apparently the gas inside him builds up and he finally needs to pass it, which gives him fits. When we told the pediatrician about his behavior (loose stool, crying/screaming) he gave his diagnosis: the dreaded COLIC. My wife knew this was my biggest fear (is there a small fear?), a colic-y child, especially after I told her how I read so much about its challenges. At least for now it's not too bad, only occurring in the evening, but it's right before bed time. During the day he feeds and falls asleep pretty easily, and stays asleep. At night he feeds then yells for a while before either needing to be changed and fed again, or eventually falls asleep after midnight. He sleeps for a couple hours before needing more attention, then repeats this a few hours later.

Last night we gave him an anti-diarrhea medicine which seemed to do the trick (I guess we will see before/after the next time). We tried Mylicon but it didn't seem to take all that well, though we know people who swear by it. I wish there was something more natural to help him, but at this point it's about him and us getting some comfortable sleep. Again, it could be (or might get) worse, and his colic could strike during the daytime too. We know this will subside eventually but also know it won't be easy going until then.

It's been very frustrating for me since I read all about this and learned how to help him cope, but when it came time to act my education seemed to fail, at least so far. Swaddling is nice, but he's gotten strong enough to squirm an arm out during his gassy fussing. The "shushing" in his ear has not worked at all. Holding him on his stomach only makes him madder. We have not tried white noise, but since he does get to sleep eventually, I only think it would just be noise for noise's sake.

Apparently I need to be patient, and attend to his needs as best as possible. Getting frustrated doesn't help anyone (mommy especially). It's not Jack's fault he ended up this way, so I'm definitely not mad at him. I admit I was really concerned/worried/dreading about having a colic baby, but now I have one and will still have to love him the way he is, maybe more even...

P.S. Please excuse the blurry quality of the photo. It was taken with my Smartphone on 2/22/09.

He Arrives

On Sunday, February 1st, at 10:09AM Mommy and Daddy in Waiting welcomed Jackson Race into the big, wide world. We knew he was coming around that time due to elective Cesarean Section. The fear from my wife was Jackson might be too big, any induction could be harmful to the baby and end in c-section anyway, or there may be shoulder dystotia in the boy and he could suffer a broken shoulder or worse. So my wife elected to deliver that way, and it ended up being a decent decision, as Jack had a loose knot in his umbilical cord. He must have jumped through it early on in the pregnancy but thankfully it never tightened. The nurses commented, however, that it easily could have gotten tighter during a vaginal delivery.

Anyway, he's here and, yes, life has surely changed. It's been five days but I'm still in disbelief, like I'm watching a movie of someone else's life. He's so tiny, making seem almost unreal, but hearing him breathe and seeing him stretch, etc., makes it hit home every time that this is the big dance now. I pictured this time of my life for months but now that it's finally here, I'm still in awe.

He's a bit fussy, which makes me feel he is definitely MY child, but each day that has passed has make me enjoy him more and get to know his tendencies better. Like almost any baby, he's surely no fan of getting his diaper changed, but the venom in his cries and screams during the changes really threw me off in the early going. I'm feeling pretty comfortable changing him, especially after NEVER changing a baby ever before, but Jack makes it sound like he's in real agony. This really freaked me out but the nurses and doctor haven't found any reason to believe his behavior is any concern. "He's a screamer" has been the answer. So now I make sure to have the changing table prepared to cut down the time he's "wide open."

The things we didn't want to do, like using a pacifier and supplementing his breast-milk diet with formula, has been invaluable so far. Once the wife gets her body used to his needs and can really get the milk flowing, we didn't see any other way around the formula needs. Our doctor approved so we did what we felt was the right thing, at least for now. The pacifier first became necessary during the boy's circumcision, which was sort of a late decision. I can't easily tell you how I came to the decision of getting the procedure done but I stomached it. The nurse gave Jackson a pacifier with sugar water to calm him, and it had a good effect. I told my wife that if I had seen the procedure prior to making the decision, I probably would have gone the other way. I wasn't disgusted but it just really seemed unnecessary. Oh well, he can replace it when he gets older if he wants...

But along with "screamer" our boy's also gotten tagged with the label of "sucker," hence our continued use of the pacifier. We knew he couldn't use my wife's nipples to pacify whenever he wanted so we gave it a try with some success. He hasn't lost his early ability to latch, so we're pleased, and we try our best to limit the pacifier use.

In later posts, now that the "in-waiting" tag of my blog sub-head is no longer necessary, I'd like to explore my feelings about this new chapter of our lives. I've found myself being much more affectionate towards the boy than I thought I would, and surprisingly comfortable with him in my arms. I can't get over how easily my wife has taken to motherhood, though I've known she would be since we got married. She's already able to multi-task effortlessly. Sometimes I feel I'm not doing enough when stacked up against her efforts in breastfeeding the boy. So I try and help out by making sure she has water to drink, changing Jack's diapers every chance I get, keeping the changing table ready to go, cooking meals, and other household chores. Last night I went to the store for some dinner items and ended up getting 10 times as many items on my list, just so we'd have things to eat that we'd both enjoy (Ben & Jerry's FroYo, e.g.). I still won't feel I'm doing enough compared to what she's gone through over the past nine months, and especially over the last few days but I hope I'm building a good foundation to build upon a strong fatherhood and marriage.