A new father-to-be's daily struggle with coming to terms with his impending fate.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Starting last week, after returning from my trip, I've been feeling pretty lousy. What started off as a sore throat now has turned into a cold with a stuffy nose and a lot of lethargy. It has soured my mood and made me a pain to be around at times. I guess it gave me writer's block, too, since this is my first post in about a week.
I've been starting to wonder: How does one who is ill and not feeling "up to it" take care of a baby/child who needs me to be at the ready 24/7? Everything I've been reading has ignored this situation, and given the penchant for kids getting sick from other kids and/or day care, etc., it seems to be an important issue.
I don't know what I did to get my current cold except the plane ride. From what I remember, there wasn't a lot of coughing/sneezing but obviously there are germs everywhere on a plane. My doctor told me a new strain of flu was going around (as I was getting my flu shot), which is also bothersome, but I haven't seen anyone at work who was ailing. I guess it doesn't matter; I have it and now I need to recuperate.
My wife says I'm a big baby when I'm sick, which is probably true. I told her last night I just get so disappointed that I'm illin' and it really makes me upset. So I act out and get really moody, which I know isn't fun. But today was the realization (finally) that a little person will be coming soon who will depend on me/us and I will have to get over myself and take care of him. I've been so self-centered for so long that it will a slap in the face when the reality hits. I look forward to it, actually, because I believe I will finally be able to feel some compassion and show some emotion towards something other than my own interests.
So please let me know how YOU coped with feeling down, out, sick, hurt, pissed, pooped, etc., and putting that aside to care for your needy child. Did you sweep it under the rug? Were you truthful to your older kids about how you feel or did you say you were okay, that nothing was wrong? How did you find time to care for yourself?